Wednesday, September 10, 2008

When I Grow Up...

Sometimes I just feel like I spend the majority of my life waiting around for stuff to happen. Then it finally happens and time flies by. It's like that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when one of the 3 geeks puts this magic lint on Buffy and the world randomly speeds up on her, driving her nuts.


I remember being in elementary school looking at the big high school kids next door and wondering if I would ever be that big. In high school I wondered if I would ever have a boyfriend, especially on that Valentine's day when literally every single other person I knew was getting asked out. When I finally met a special someone, it was countdown to engagement, then wedding, then house, which is where I find myself now. In July I could hardly wait to move. Packing was such a chore; I just wanted to be done with it and be in my new house already! And now it's already mid-September. Where did those 2 months go?


Pretty soon I will be an old lady sitting on the porch of a retirement home wondering what happened to my life. I don't think I am alone in my fears, but others have been more brave and productive than I in their waiting. Julie Powell (see link) started a blog about cooking her way through Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking. She developed her blog into a highly entertaining book. I can barely scratch two sentences together to make a blog post, and my blog following is nonexistent. I suppose it would help if I posted more often. Perhaps I should develop some kind of shtick, an around the world in 80 days kind of thing. At least then I would have something to write about.


I guess part of growing up (at least in my generation) is that we're all so special. We were told that so many times that we deluded ourselves into believe we were actually going to write that novel we always thought about writing. I want to take that special feeling I have deep down inside and fling it against the wall, because then I wouldn't have to psych myself up to even write this blog and I could just go back to enjoying Solitaire and reveling in the fact that I have an 18% win average. Ignorance is bliss, isn't it?


I think everyone has that scary epiphany in their life when they realize that we don't actually grow up, we just get older. Our experiences make us a little wiser, and our wisdom makes us feel a little grown up, but deep down, we are still little children who are confident that somebody out there knows what they're doing. What we want more than anything in the world is for some cosmic force to come down and pat us on the back and say we're doing a damn good job, we're on the right track and keep up the good work!

So what are you waiting for?


"How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protagonist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off." -Stewie Griffin [Family Guy]



Recommended Reading: Julie and Julia by Julie Powell

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i have nothing to say. vraiment

Amélie said...

I found your blog today by taking a look at your webpage. I just wanted to say that I also feel I'm in countdown mode (it's all leading up to a house, right? then a dog? and we'll have a car? and then kids?). I'm glad other people feel that way too!

I'll keep reading once in a while - I know what it's like to have a blog that has, like, two readers (in my case, my mom and my husband).

By the way, Julie and Julia is coming out in theaters later this year - the first preview looks really good. I'm looking forward to it! :)